It’s taken me a long time to understand that the way I dress can work against me. That at work in particular, my outfits can become the focus — not my work, not what I can contribute. Instead, it’s a: What is she wearing?!
But knowing this hasn’t made me better at getting dressed. It’s just made me more anxious about it. I know I rarely get it “right” — and I’m quite creative in finding new ways to get it wrong.
So naturally, I shop. If I just had more options, I tell myself, I’d figure it out. Instead I end up with a closet full of things I don’t wear, a car full of crap to return, and a credit card statement that is horrifying. And I’ve got the same problem staring me in the face. It’s a spectacular waste of time and money — which, as it turns out, is the essence of Retail Therapy for me.
What I need is someone who can teach me. A person who knows how to be comfortable in their own skin, has a quiet confidence that allows them to set their own dress code, and is simply unbothered by the opinions of others. Someone who can make showing up look effortless.
Then I met Amy Benavides. She grew up the child of a Cold War spy, married a spy, and has spent her life observing them and even working with them. If anyone has mastered the art of showing up, it’s her. I sat down with her hoping she could fix me.
Decide for yourself if she did.
I Was Told the Only Cashmere I Owned Looked Like a Sweatshirt
When you’re on deadline as a reporter, your only focus is the clock. The minutes you have left to file your story. So when my boss came up behind me at my desk, where I was focused on the words, I didn’t think anything of it.
