Dance So Bob Weir Can RIP

The Grateful Dead taught me to dance; "scared" young people are so missing out

Enjoying Shakedown Street at Dead & Co. show Oct. 2021

The first time I experienced people dancing to the beat of their own drum was attending Grateful Dead concerts in the ‘90s. As a GPA-obsessed high school student, I needed something to open my eyes. Seeing people as their authentic selves and picking their unique path in life just my state of mind. It was a world that didn’t care about awards, extracurricular activities or what college you were going to. People weren’t planning for the future, or berating themselves for past mistakes. They were living in the moment. Lessons I still struggle with.

Over the weekend, the heart-breaking passing of Grateful Dead co-founder Bob Weir was a tragic reminder to stay present. Weir spent his life advocating for social justice, promoting kindness, and dancing in the joy of the moment. Things that feel pretty far from where we are today. But it doesn’t have to.

A Dead show is where I witnessed a miracle. Someone asking for and receiving a free ticket into that day’s show. From a stranger, nonetheless. It was magical and beautiful, making you believe in humanity and the ability of one person to change the world.

I learned there is no such thing as owning “too much” tie-dye. You never can have enough. It’s where vanilla and patchouli intermingled with the scent of grilled-cheese sandwiches. All surrounded by people dancing, before, during and after the show.

Weir’s passing also made me think of a recent story in The Wall Street Journal discussing how today’s young people are “scared” to dance at concerts and clubs. They fear looking “goofy,” getting filmed and showing up on social media.

What gives? I’ve been to loads of sporting events where the youngest kids love dancing crazy, hoping to get on the kiss-cam. But apparently there’s some age they hit when being self-conscious wins and dancing becomes sacrilegious.

This is tragic. I feel most alive when I dance, especially to live music or in a club. The louder the music the better. No thinking; all feeling.

Why would anyone want to miss out on that? And I say this as someone who wasn’t one of those girls who grew up going to dance classes. I probably have no moves. But when the music starts, I give zero shits.

I’m surprised how frequently someone has come up to me after a show, saying: “It was so fun seeing you enjoy yourself.”

Will you help me get the word out to these young people: dance! Because you can. There will come a time when you can’t. In 1995, when Dead singer and lead guitarist Jerry Garcia unexpectedly died, we feared the celebration ended. I was at his second-to-last concert in Chicago at Soldier Field. I wrote about his passing for The Dallas Morning News.

We believed the dancing was over. And it was, until Weir partnered with guitarist John Mayer in 2015 under the name Dead & Co, reviving the spirit of the band and comradery of the community. They brought together some of today’s best musical artists and exposed new generations to the joy of a day-long musical celebration. This was love and humanity at its finest as new fans joined the fold.

We got another unexpected chance to dance. I’m so utterly grateful for all of the times I saw the Dead, in various phases and cities and states. Throughout, I couldn’t help but think: dance. Because you can. Don’t wish you had. Do.

We will all make an ass of ourselves in the world. I do it on the daily. But we can’t let fear keep us from living. There are so many things I’ve gotten wrong in life. But dancing in public definitely isn’t one of them.