I’ve planned more than my fair share of events throughout my career, and it’s never easy. It’s stressful. Then you have to manage the angst of others across minutes or days. It’s basically babysitting adults who act like toddlers.
I’m decent at it, but only because it’s easy for me to dwell on everything that could go wrong and come up with contingencies. In case. Sadly, it’s how I’ve lived life. I’m working to evolve, but I’m not wired to expect the best. It’s exhausting and emotional, after the fact, but when needed I can jump into action and keep my head during a worst-case scenario.
In every case, there are certain things that are non-negotiables. You always have way too much food. If people leave hungry, it’s all they’ll remember. You want them to not even have to consider any necessity that comes up everyday.
Someone I know recently did an event in Greece. The AC was faulty and not working. By day three, everyone ditched their business attire and showed up in as little as possible to offset the oppressive heat. Sadly, it’s what people will remember about the event.
Like not having easy access to the bathroom. Which is critical when you’re providing an open bar at a venue that allows marijuana delivery to the front gate. The abundance of decadent food gets gobbled up when the munchies strike. All of which ensures an abundance of bathrooms need to be available.
All of which makes me baffled: how are the brands and businesses that dropped six figures for a private suite at the US Open just now aware that the luxury suites they rented no longer include private en suite bathrooms? The shock and consternation, dubbed the “VI-Pees” Crisis, makes no sense. Rental rates range from $100K up to $1 million. How could this detail have been missed? Who was actually caught with their pants down?
The missing facilities are a result of the $800 million facelift underway at Arthur Ashe Stadium, inside the public Flushing Meadows park in Queens. Already the name is ripe for bathroom jokes. Now, it’s worse. You start to wonder who the joke is actually on.
The bathroom brouhaha landed like a turd in year two of the three-year overhaul, which is expected to be completed next year in time for the matches. Gone are the cheap seats, removed to add pricier options. Of course. The private suites moved further from the court and lost the private bathrooms. If you want to learn more about the work underway, check out this post from Joe Pompliano.
The response from the US Open is a doozy: “more space, less maintenance…, and the ability for bathroom users to have privacy away from their fellow suite attendees.”
More space, less maintenance…, and the ability for bathroom users to have privacy away from their fellow suite attendees. - US Open
The horror. Having to pee with others in what’s essentially a community bathroom in a public park. But it’s not like those being entertained in the private areas are doing so on their own dime. It’s all about the sponsors and who they bring as guests.
A decent seat comes with a $2,333 price tag. And that’s face value, not resale. Which is what you’re probably paying. And don’t forget a tip for when you have your pot delivered outside the front gate before entering the stadium. The dispensaries are staffed up and ready to deliver.
The tennis tournament attracted more than 1 million people in 2025 and is one of the highest revenue-generating, multiday events in American sports, according to the US Tennis Association. The organization says suite owners were aware of the bathroom ban, which they claim is becoming “industry standard” in new stadium designs.
Scoring a ticket to the tennis tournament, which started Aug. 23 and ends Sept. 13, is essentially the end-of-summer party for those in the know who need to be seen. It’s like being in the Hamptons or showing up in Ibiza or Burning Man, if that’s your thing.
The number of invited influencers doubled from last year. They’re noisy, talking and drinking. Anyone who thought they’d be there watching the tennis clearly has never gone to Drag Bingo. It’s impossible to pay attention to the numbers on my card. I’m drinking cocktails and taking in the sights.
Honey Deuces, a vodka-melon drink that sounds delicious, costs $23. At least 800K will be sold. At a tennis tournament played in a public park. Where attendees proudly pile their empties to see whose tower is tallest.
Some brands considered having interns stand in line until someone needed to go. And the VIP could then come take their place. That would have been shitty. But it would have made for fabulous online videos. I would have watched.
When you’re paying 7 figures for a suite, due diligence is required. I would have done a walk-through on-site in advance. More than once. That’s the job. The angst is understandable. No guest should have to think about where they pee. But that uncertainty is what will be remembered.
When life stops making sense, we shop drink Honey Deuces. More soon.
