Retail Therapy is why we buy. The Return Window is what happens next.
Chris Stanton writes Stantonland — comedic essays that he says are "both quite fun and very odd." We’ll find out if either or both are true. Maybe you’re curious how his civil complaint against summer worked out. All I can say is I’m still sweating. As for his threefold thesis that Starbucks is a cult…I think I’m a member. And he co-hosts Funny Story with Shelly Mazzanoble.
Here’s what I don’t know: what Chris is bringing. I never do — that’s the fun part. Chris will share his rejects and regrets. Together, we’ll all find out what he thought they would do for him.
That’s The Return Window. Three segments, live, for 17 minutes.
Return Window: the rejects. The things we wasted money on and now have to spend time boxing up to send away. Consider this a public service announcement in response to all the stuff Substack told us to buy.
Final Sale: the shit we’re stuck with. No returns, no exchanges. Not even the annoying store credit that forces you to buy something you don’t want. No matter how it came to be, we're all paying for it. Lately, it’s mostly politics. You were warned.
Keepers: what’s bringing us delight. I won’t name the people whose stuff we’re returning. I’ll absolutely name the ones who got it right.
Nothing here is a recommendation.
Chris’s 3 Keepers & a Regret drops Wed. Sept. 16.
The chat will be open so bring your questions.
Watch live: Thursday, September 17, 7:15 PM Central, right here on Substack.
Join Radio, the return labels, Chris and me to work our way through the boxes of regrets and get them hauled away. You bring your commentary and cocktails.
When life stops making sense, we shop think big thoughts. More soon.
