Laurel Cummings joined me for The Return Window two days after the midterms. I talked politics, she didn’t. She also writes Free Puppies, a newsletter about comedy for commerce, and runs Free Puppies Creative, which puts comedians into brand content. Marketing, but make it fun. What’s not to love?
We went live at lunchtime because Laurel had her first parent-teacher conference that afternoon. For preschool. Apparently that’s a thing now.
How a comedian ended up in B2B
Laurel didn’t know what Salesforce was until Salesforce hired her. They’ve never even given me an interview. When the recruiter told her the salary: 90% more than she was making.
My thought? “We all have a price tag. Those who say they don’t are lying.”
What Laurel found inside: tons of MBAs, a tiny creative team, and million-dollar budgets for TV-style projects that landed on one remote copywriter. Meanwhile, talented comedy writers are scraping by. Free Puppies is the bridge between the two.
Return Window: what we’re getting rid of
Me: politicians’ stuffy suits from the ‘80s. On election night, James Talarico and Gina Hinojosa celebrated at Whataburger in jeans. Politicians are people. They should dress like it.
Laurel pushed back. She started out as an assistant to the SNL writers, where everyone dressed up on show night as a sign of respect. Fair. My counterpoint: know your audience. Ask the account team that wore Buc-ee’s T-shirts to a business-formal meeting.
Laurel’s return: One Kings Lane. Beautiful website, $800 order, and what showed up was garbage. Then comes the giant box, the drive to CVS and a 15% restocking fee. “I know they do this on purpose because they want me to just keep it.”
Final Sale: what we’re stuck with
Laurel’s Poshmark Celine jeans. Poshmark is a claw game: sometimes you win, but mostly it’s a scam. The jeans had been cropped, they didn’t fit, and Poshmark doesn’t take returns. She was wearing them on camera anyway. (The bottom half never shows.)
Shoes, too. Sizes keep shifting between brands, and when you send them back the store says, “These have been worn.” Yes. To see if I could walk in them.
Holiday return policies are getting stricter this year. Costco still takes back nearly anything, including a fake plant someone bought because they thought it was real. And “free returns” often still means you drive it somewhere: free to print the label, but how do I get it to you?
Keepers
Laurel: she never works during lunch, even if it’s only five minutes. Otherwise it’s 5 o’clock and she’s eating an RX bar from the glove compartment.
Me: optimism. This week, a lot of things happened that I didn’t think were possible. It’s nice to be pleasantly surprised.
Read Laurel’s 3 Keepers and a Regret
